(DIRTY) LINEN

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Yesterday I loathed you for being proud of my accomplishments.
For brimming with that pleasure, that not-mock-joy so full of love and respect.
Yesterday I felt empty and stared into empty spaces.
Feeling the void – and wanting to fill it.

With rocks.
With clouds.
With empty dollar bags with smiley faces on them.

Yesterday I listened to the same song over and over again.
A song penned and vocalised by a friend.
Yesterday there was too much in the middle and too much in between.

Yesterday I loathed myself for making promises,
I don’t feel strong enough to keep.

My lonely heart that beats more slowly now longed for reconciliation,
With the beast.

Yesterday I struggled.
Today, I can only hope to struggle less.

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