We were young
I, the oldest, by only four months
However a whole school grade ahead
But not yet 13
The years have a way of blending
To where I struggle to remember the chronology
In New Zealand – when we were adolescents there was Intermediate
In America they call it “middle school” I think
That’s where we met
She was one of those hot girls
That all the boys wanted to pash
I wasn’t
I was an avid reader
I spent my time in the library
Mostly hiding, trying to avoid my bully
Or bullies in general
I was an easy target
She was in the bi-lingual unit
That’s where the Maoris were
Those were the people I tried to avoid
In the library
The Maoris
Maoris didn’t read
They picked on people
But their favourite prey
Was Maori girls like me
Shy, quiet, smart – a different kind of their own kind
Not so easy on the eye
She and I somehow became fast friends
I don’t recall the how
We also became fast(not)friends
Only I do remember how that happened
My bully-slash-friend decided I wasn’t to speak to her
So I didn’t
I listened to that bully
A lot
I would do anything she ordered
Until one day I cracked
She ordered that I give her my dollar
Every other day I would give her every cent I had
But on this particular day I had only one dollar
I wanted that dollar, I wanted a “dollar cookie”
I’d had enough, so I said
NO
That was the very same day I decided I wasn’t a doormat
I was going to be “gangster”
Those Maoris weren’t going to pick on me anymore
They never picked on me again and won
And I’m still gangster
Growing up is a perilous journey
Upon which at some point along the way
You learn the value of forgiveness
I am still friends with my adolescent bully
Just as I am with the first girl to ever hurt my heart
But don’t get it twisted
Forgiveness is not a means to my memory loss
I NEVER FORGET
To keep it gangster